Can we talk about how healing your nervous system isn’t all calming and soothing and love and light?
One of the most important pieces of healing our nervous system is allowing ALL the parts of ourselves to safely emerge.
And bringing our healthy “fight” response back online is a key part of moving back towards regulation.
This can be uncomfortable, because we’re generally taught from a VERY young age that anger is something to be “managed”. Maybe you’ve been taught that it’s uncontrollable, it’s wild, it’s destructive. It needs to be tamed or released or “just let go”.
But there’s so much more to the story…. because anger — AKA our healthy fight response — is a key part of our innate wiring that tells us what’s NOT okay.
It’s our primal response to something in our environment that’s dangerous. Not safe. Not right. (either for ourselves, or for someone we love).
And when we’re shamed or reprimanded for our anger, we tend to create internal spirals of shame that send that energy inwards (instead of out into the environment where this energy’s meant to go — protecting you).
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As this is something that’s been coming up for several clients lately, I wanted to send a loving reminder that your “fight” response is a healthy and necessary part of your nervous system that protects you and guides you.
And when this energy is regulated… it’s not something to be feared. A healthy, regulated fight response doesn’t turn into uncontrollable rage or a “lashing out” in a way that can hurt others.
Rather… a regulated, healthy fight response looks like: an embodied, clear, fully-owned, full-body response… that protects us and allows us to clearly stand our ground for what we know to be right and true.
If you have a sense that your “fight” response has been sent into hiding (as is so common, and nothing to be ashamed of)…. as a first step, I’d invite you to notice and recognize that this fight response is healthy.
And invite it back.
Invite the felt sense of it to come gently back into your awareness… it’s helpful to do this in small doses (because a lifetime of stored anger could be overwhelming to feel all at once).
But when you begin to feel, allow, and sense, in small bits, the energy of “fight” in your nervous system…. and allow yourself to feel the sensation of that energy in your body…. you send the deep message to yourself that this is okay. This is part of you. This is a part of you that’s here to protect you.
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Awhile back, I did a podcast interview with my dear friend Josephine Hardman on “the Sacred Medicine of Anger”… if you feel like exploring this issue more, you may want to check out this episode here.
What’s your relationship to your fight response look like?
Join my Resilient Goddess Facebook group to rewire your nervous system and thrive in a community setting, and for 1:1 work, find current offers here.
